Reckon Death ever had a day like this?

Typical really... isn't it?
Yes, I'm getting paid money to abuse the scanner like this...
What did you do with your tuesday?

Peachy

We've all felt like this I reckon...

Huh... We have a scanner at work.

Which means I get to play with it... Just a quick sketch. I was bored.
It's funny how much better things get, the second time around.

Tranquil?

So. Guess where I'm at? You'll never guess... I mean, it's not like I'm always here when I write...

Anyway, so... Uhm. Nothing has happened lately. Not even a little. It's been about as exciting as a "Home shopping" marathon on Tv.

You know. The one where Chuck Norris tries to sell you a Total Gym, an egg pealer, some bizare tool for cutting tomatoes into the shape of the virgin Mary, in case you should ever have guests that would find such a thing appropriate. And possibly, if you werent paying attention, another Total Gym.

Life has, in other words, been entirely uneventful. I guess this is what my mates life must be like, everyday now. He's one o' them blokes, who lookes like he's the chairman of the Golf/Yacht/Squash/Cricket/Tennis club and owns a rather large and expensive boat, down the harbour...

Unfortunately for him¹ he doesn't. He did however move to some obscure out of the way location with his girl friend, and has begun using phrases like "our poppel tree is in bloom" and "Guest room". Terms that, as far as I'm concerned, should only be used by people who are my, or someone elses, parents. It's the kind of place, where people come and knock on your door, and inform you that your grass doesn't live up to the neighbourhood standards, and should be looked after and, preferably, should possibly be a bit greener². The kind of place, you only live in, if you're obscenely rich, or would like to appear that way. It has "No riding" signs on the pavements, as everyone apparently has a horse, and only really has a name, because Cartographers tend to feel ashamed if they leave very large areas on their maps, with nothing written on it.

Why they then choose to give it names no one can even pronounce, is an entirely different form of science in itself. One that, as far as I'm aware, involves lot's of star charts, an old out-dated dictionary, and what I can only assume to be a rather solid diet of coffee and sleep deprivation.

Having said that, I shall now endevour to do nothing at all, and go read a Gamereactor mag' while getting paid for it...

What are you going to do with your sunday?

Cheers'
- The Bedlamite


¹ And us. A yacht would be wicked for the summer.
² These people actually exist. I know, it's like being told the Tooth Fairy is real!

Geography...

Work, work, work.

Here I am, standing in my ever so lovely net-café again, doing FA, and earning a decent wage for it.

You see the strangest things here. The other day, some snazzy looking bloke walked in with his sports bag, his blond hair, his "I'm the chairman of the Tennis/Golf/Yacht club" outfit and poise, his ever so cocky attitude for the "common serf" and an aura of arse¹.

And what does he do?

He walks to the back of the café. Chooses the dodgiest computer he can find, and looks up every single sleezy internet porn site the web can throw at him. In other words: He uses the internet for what it's there for.

What bothers me, is that every now and then, the guy opens tax sites, and housing price sites, and even looks at his stocks...

Who the hell does that while browsing porn!? That's sick!²

And just before, a guy walked in with a tin of cat-food.

I know for a fact this guy doesn't have a cat. Nor has he been home for maybe a week... And judging by the smell, nor has he had a shower in that time.

Does anyone really need more proof that the internet is evil? It's why I love it so! ^^

Anyway. It's a nice day outside. It's not raining for the first time in a while, which, judging by where Denmark is actually located, is somewhat of a feat!

Allow me to enlighten you a bit on geography.

England is the worlds largest producer of rain. In fact, I'm pretty sure they invented it. Now. Given the nature of the western world, we tend to produce way more than we need. So the english obviously have a surplus of rain.

The majority of which, they apparently export to Denmark. And judging by the ammount, we got it cheap to. Cus the government seems to be buying it in bulk. And it's a funny thing with that. Denmark is flat. It's not like we can rid of the stuff again. It just lies there. Which might go a long way to explain why. after having several tons of geography fall on your heads daily, and you have nothing you didn't make yourself to look at, people might begin to look down upon such things as geography and meteorology. And not just because they're walking on one, and being soaked by the other. It's probably because it doesn't look like real science.³

But, in all regards. Today is nice. The sun is shining, improving the odds that someone will get sun cancer, and in general, forcing everyone to go outside and pretend they're actually enjoying it, instead of sitting indoors doing what they actually wanted to do⁴.

And what does this mean!?

Less work for me! So yet again, I'm confirmed in my suspicion, that this really is the coolest job in the world.

Ahh, life is sweet! =P

Cheers!
- The Bedlamite


¹ You know the type. Every kid who ever went to school has met the "I'm so fucking important, you cant even begin to describe how fucking important I am, without saying fuck alot..." type of guy... This was him. Or a relative of his.
² No mention will be made of how I know all this, or about the nifty "view screen" function I have at the register, that allows me to see what anyone in the café are seeing...
³ You know, the kind you use to give something 3 extra legs, and then blow it up. Which seems to be what science is about these days.
⁴ Society at large tends to frown upon people who don't conform with the masses, regardless of how silly the masses are behaving at the given moment.

So I'm at work

So I'm at work right now. Yes, that's right... I work. Not by choice mind you, but because buying new shoes for 900kr (the equivallent of 90£¹) and several other, I assure you highly neceserry, trinkets has left my wallet in a somewhat lacking state. Words like "empty" and "debt" spring to mind.

So, like I said. Here I am. Hard at work. By that, obviously, I mean something along the lines of "I work in a Net-Café, and quite frankly, I do fuck all, all day, while getting paid for it". But saying that doesn't give me much "aww, you poor thing" factor, now does it...

So. Here I am. Hard at work.

Currently, I'm.. Uhm. Well, I guess saying I'm working, is like saying Paris hilton has a talent for singing. Or that Jessica simpson might be a charming person, once you got to know her. In other words: It'd be a load of bollocks.

This is, without a doubt, the coolest job I ever had. I mean. I'm getting paid, for making fun of customers, surfing online, drinking stuff, and eating other stuff (depending on what, the same stuff) and now for updating my blog... Which, I admit, I haven't done in a million and two years. Yes. I'm that old. Looks can be, and in my case are, decieving.

It's like McDonals with that. On the poster, the food looks big² and juicy, which, I know, sounds like a tacky name for a bad porno flick. But that doesn't change the fact that it does look good. And when you part with your hard earned money (Well, I guess some people work for their money) what do you get?

Something that looks like the mutant inbred bastard child of a plague wridden cabbage that had unprotected sex with a loaf of bread.

This unholy marriage is then carelessly sold to any passer by who happens to be unlucky enough to come within 10 feet of building with a large golden M on it. Weather they really felt like food poisoning, and a slow death due to cholesterol building up in their arteries, or not.

Still. It "looks nice". Which brings us full circle to what this was all about. Looks being decieving... I think this was somehow tied to me being at work, but I lost track somewhere in all that... I'm sure it makes sense after a few beers! Most things do!

Cheers!
- The Bedlamite


¹ I do not know, nor do I much care what it is in Dollars or even Yen for that matter... The odds of me buying anything using that currency anytime soon, is as likely as a gay man running for pope.
² The human race tends to evolve around this term alot... God know's why. Maybe Freud was right?

Mad World

"So this is christmas?"... With the risk of sounding corny, and facing copy right infringement and all that... "And what have you done?"...
And that's just it in'it... Cus the more I think about it... The more "Nothing" jumps to mind...

I can try to oppress it. But it's like trying to ignore a Jack Russel Terrier who's just been told it's goin for a walk.
Try as you might, it's going to stand there, jumping up and down all day long, untill you either give in... Or go mad, and have an epileptic fit, due to all the motion flickering in front of your eyes...

I'm guessing giving in, is the smarter option. Just like everyone else in this, at times, Godforsaken holiday. I mean. I seem to recall this being all about family. And food. Possibly some little guy in a cryb, who I've never met. But apparently everyone's really pleased he was born in that cryb.
Weather this is because we're glad it was him and not us, I cant say, but it does sound like a very human reason to like anybody who'd been through a hard time.
Someone had to have a hard time. And as long as it's you, and not me, I'm happy... Sounds about right.

Anyway, it seems to be less and less about that anymore. Now it's about who can annoy their neighbours with the biggest set of lights on their house. Who can buy the biggest turky. Who can buy the biggest presents, and who has the biggest christmas tree...
All in all, the word "big" seems to play a rather large¹ part in the so-called christmas spirit lately.
Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike christmas. I find it rather enjoyable. But I find it equally laughable. Christmas does to people, what the colour red allegidly does to a bull.
Every one's gone barking mad these last few days, and if you didn't know this was apparently a happy holiday, one might be fooled to believe it was indeed the end of the world.
Everyone is pissy. The public transportation system is a joke, everything is suddenly all about money, and people are hoarding goods as though they were preparing for a nuclear war...

And yet, apparently, this is the happiest time of the year, and all this fuss, is in preperation for one little day.

Only we, as the supreme and all knowing race that we are², would invent a day that takes 2 months of planning, puts the entire world on edge, causes stress and suicides, financial ruin, divorses, breaks up families, causes people to steal, and generally makes everyone unhappy, and aggressive...
And try to market it as "a season of happiness", thinking this is indeed a pretty good idea...

But then, only we, as the supreme and all knowiing race that we are, believe in the lie. Which is probably why it works...

I guess we have this tendancy, as a species, to try and compensate for quiality, with quantity.
It might not be good. But at least it's big!
This seems to be the universal standard, on which we opperate.

This, of course, leads me back to myself³. Being bi-cultural, we have two heriatages to pull upon, and therefore, about twice the ammount of holidays...
Or we would have, if anyone in the family really cared about all that.
As it stands, we just have two christmas'.
One the 24th. And one the 25th.
Which is funny really, as both cultures apparently do christmas, to celebrate the above mentioned little boy, and how he was born in a cryb, next to what I can only assume to be a mule, and two people, who wished that they'd had enough bloody money to pay for a hotel room. Cryb's are usually located in barns, and they're not known to be the warmest of places in december.

This is, of course, of no importance, as all historical texts, actually point out, that this little boy wasn't born in december. But somewhere around may.
It was a lot warmer, with the possibility of a pleasant breeze. Maybe a little rain.

"But why do we have christmas then?" I hear you ask?⁴
Simple. It's cold. It's miserable. Each day has about 6 hours of sunligt, and it rains all the bloody time...
If we didn't have something to look forwards too, it'd still be like it is now. People would mill about being angry and mean, stealing and buying, and generally ruining their lives... But without the so called "light at the end of the tunnel", there'd be nothing stopping them from carrying on like this, well into febuary.

I rather reckon civil war would break out, if it was ever allowed to go on for that long.

So consider Christmas a sort of buffer. A soft landing, at the end of a rather horrible fall towards the ground.

Hmh... Maybe it's not such a bad thing after all...?

Cheer's.
- The Bedlamite


¹ Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
² Read "Side tracking is an art form" if not already familiar with my view on human "evolution".
³ As do most my thoughts.
⁴ Even if you didn't, I'll assume you did anyway, as people might get the impression I was a bit mad, if I was just talking to myself like that...

Never self-analyze... Self-analyzation is the enemy!

[WARNING]
As of writing this, I'm not in a particularly "comic" mood... Ergo, I'll probably not be ranting as much as usual. Probably...

Hmh... This is one of those "I think life just got on the train, and took off... Now it's not that I mind, but I have this dodgy feeling I'm walking on the track..." kind of moods...
I'm in a situation that, by all means, should be good. Got a flat. Got a job. Surrounded by people I like. Yet for every day that passes, I grow more, and more apathetic.
Work bores me, people are idiots and my life isn't nearly as exciting as I'd like it to be... But this isn't anything new. So why's it bringin me down?
Work sucks. This is a well known, and often versed fact. The odds of this coming as a surprise to anyone, are as likely as snow on Christmas eve. We know it happens, but there's no point in taking into account when making plans.

As for the "People are idiots" bit. This is not really of any fault of their own.
Idiocy is to large groups of people as hitting the ground is to falling. And by now, I reckon it'd be safe to call the earths population a "large group of people".

Which brings us to "apathetic". But I've always been apathetic. I'm one of those people that, if left to my own devices in a burning house, I'd probably be more likely to sit down and wait for the fire to get fed up and go somewhere else, than to actually get up and move out of the way myself.
It's not that I'm against movement or anything. Movement has never bothered me, and we try to avoid each other as much as possible. It's just that, I seem to have taken lazyness to a level where it has become hard work.
I can spend hours trying to figure out what the best way to not do anything is. This often means that, had I just got up and done it, it would've been over and done with by now. But that's completely irrelevant and besides the point.
I've used this approach throughout my life, with varying success, but success none the less. If you're sick, I find the best approach is to not care. Weather I make a fuss about it, or not. I'll be sick either way. Might as well just ignore it. This also seems to work most of the time. Like now for instance. I'm sure I should be caring for this throat of mine. What with the coughing and having dificulties breathing and all that... It might even be a clue, that I can't talk properly for the first two hours in the morning...
I could just possibly be a little under the weather. But so what? I could stay in bed, not move, feel sorry for myself and generally moan a lot. But last time I checked, that didn't help either. I know lots of people who like feeling sorry for themselves... They still get sick. Coincidently, they seem to do so more often than other people I know. But I'm sure it's not related in anyway... What so ever...

On a completely incoherent side note, go listen to Regina Spektor. Odd's are you'll like it... That's what I found anyway.

Cheer's.
- The Bedlamite

Modern science needs a hobby...

So I opened my inbox today... And as always, I can confirm that many people out there spend entirely too much time, concerning themselves with things they'd best not... Me namely.

It's amazing really, how so many people from south africa seem to know where I live, who I am, how much I care, yet all make the mistake of thinking I like God.
I'm not sure if it's just a culture differance or not, but I'd wager they'd do better if they didn't head all their mails with "Dear beloved in God"...
And it all concerns money. That they want to give to me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like money as much as the next person¹.
But when you're born and bread in a region of the world, where everything has a price, and most people are more than happy to tell you that because of some special occasion, mainly concerning you being where you are at this present time, said price has dropped remarkably, and that this lovely(something²) can now be yours for the exceptionally low price of(some price³).
You tend to get a pit suspecious when people actually try to give you money... Especially money made from Nazi gold, African diamond mines or rich Nigerian relatives who've passed away and left me all their belongings.
The latter in particular, as my entire family is white. I reckon we might have noticed Nigerian relatives at all the gatherings...

These however, do not concern me nearly as much as the other types of mail I recieve. It appears the entire medical staff of the world have teamed up, and now take turns to send me "great deals" for cheap viagra, penis enlargement products, and herbal medicine to improve my performance.
I've never met these people, I'm not sure I want to.
I mean, I don't really have a problem with them trying to sell me things that 600 years ago, would have been the equivallent of magic beans and pregnancy repelling bracelets. I'm not even to fussed about them all seeming to know exactly who I am, and what I need...
What i'm having trouble figuring out is, who are these people... And why are they all so obsessed about the shape and size of my penis?!

I mean, theoretically, they're doing me a favour, by informing me of my inadecuacy, and offering a solution to my apparent problem.
But what they're in fact doing, is cluttering up my inbox with little messages that all tell me that I really need to give them money because science if important, and we need to invest more of it looking into making the world a better place, one adecuately big penis at a time.

It's a lot like the bloke I saw sweeping the steps at the Metro system today...
I mean, technically, he was sweeping them.
What he was in fact doing, was moving little bits of dust around with a broom, giving them a change of scenary and a chance to meet new friends...

I wonder if he's inadecuate too...

Cheers!
- The Bedlamite


¹ Probably a bit more, if I'm honest...
² Insert item that you never knew you needed.
³ Insert a price that you would more than happily sell your child, mother or partner for, should anyone ever care to offer.

This just in!

We've just recieved this bullitin headline, on some very interesting scientific facts, about life.

Wives.
Scientists have recently discovered, that any man who has ever had a wife, has died. And that this can be traced back as far as the days before Christ.
This comes a major shock to many institutions around the world, as many men out there are indeed married.

"I always had this feeling she'd be the death of me, but I never really believed it"
Says one such spokes person.

After this discovery, "Wives" have now been deemed a natural cause of death, and has become the world wide number one killer, when it comes to male fatalities.
Politicians are even now looking into this increasing problem, and what can be done about it.

Also:

Birthdays.
A recent survey shows, that birthdays are indeed good for you. It has long been speculated that people who have lots of birthdays tend to live longer, but it was not untill some time last week that this was actually proven.

Scientists believe that this new insight will have a massive impact on people's social lives, and expect to see lots of people have birthdays over the next couple of years.


Cheers!
- The Bedlamite

Apparently I'm sick...

I just saw an add today.
One of those drug adds that inform you that you're very sick if some symptoms fit you, like:

"Do the following symptoms fit you!? Then you're deadly sick and need to buy (some item¹)which will cure you, after only 7 months of constant pill usage!"

They always kind of make me laugh, because it's always something like:
"Do you wake up tired in the morning?" to which my first thought would be "Oh my God! I have that! That's me! Quick write this down, I need to buy this... I could quite possibly die!"
And it's always like that isn't it?
I mean, half the time, you don't even know what the add is about. It's just a bunch of people on a beach. Running around in the sun, dog playin in the water, and you sitting there thinking:

"Arh man, I want some of that! What desease is that? It comes with a hot chick, a six pack and everything!"

And then it turns out to be some sort of skin cancer or Viagra commercial... First off, why would you even try to sell skin cancer... And secondly, who at 25, needs viagra?
It's like all those spam mails you (me anyway) get everyday. I must get like a million mails from people from africa and various other places I've never visited, nor do I ever intend to... Honestly, who are these people, and why do they think I need so much viagra!?

Speaking of thinking (or lack there of) I saw this bloke on the street today. Some homeless guy walked up to him, and the guy didn't even look at him. Just told him to get a job, pushed him aside, and walked on...Now hang on just a second. The guy was homeless. Homeless! He's wearing his flipping underwear on top of his pants. Now it might just be me, but I'm thinking he might have some job difficulties here. Like the interview part might present some kind of problem. I mean, I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure McDonalds has an "Underwear goes inside your pants" policy. I know they don't enforce it all that well, but I'm sure it's there somewhere in the books.
It's like when we all see them and think "I'm not gonna give him money, he's just gonna waste it on booze"...
He lives in a box! Of course he's gonna waste it on booze. Wouldn't you!? I mean, how can his life get any worse than this?... Besides, what are you gonna spend it on!?... That's right. Booze!
It's not like he can spend it wisely even if he wanted to. He cant just save it all in a tin jar, and go buy a stereo, a dog or some property... He lives in a God damn box!
Sometimes, a little brain activity goes a long way... But I think we covered that already. It's something we haven't seemed to evolve yet...I sometimes wonder if it actually hurts other people to think...
Or why it is they choose not to...

Cheers!
- The Bedlamite


¹ Insert item that you never knew you needed.

Side tracking a topic is an art form...

So it's finally October eh?...
Seems whoever thought "fall" would make a nice name for a season, was the same person who thought "rain" was the right type of weather for a day out.

But here we are never the less. It's cold, it's miserable, it's windy and it's raining... It's always raining...
It's kind of like that mandatory group of 14-year-old boys/girls at the back of any bus. Always talking. Never actually saying anything. But always talking.
I wonder where they come from... And who decided that letting them out, amongst other people, would actually be a good idea.

But I guess that's how ideas work? I mean, let's face it... There are a lot of things where you think "well, yeah, that's a great idea!"... Untill you actually go and do it. Like putting yourself in a shopping cart and going down a slide. Or buying that 2.5L Coca Cola mug you saw in the cinema, because it'll look good standing next to your newest impulse buy, the X-Box 360, with additional cordless controller and dead rising game¹...
It all seemed like a good idea at the time.

But then, so did building the Berlin wall, electing Bush, and founding France... Ok granted, maybe not France, but still...
I honestly think it's part of how we all work. Or try not to. We seem specifically built to deliberately do the things and ask the questions, we know without a doubt will inevidably backfire and hurt us.
Then, when it does exactly what we all knew it would do, we act surprised, swear never to do it again, obviously do, and call it maturing.

It's the same principal with human evolution. Or lack thereof...
We strive to be the fastest, fittest and best there are. So we may prosper, spread and controll... Yet all we ever seem to do is invent new ways to kill each other, belittle our ideas, and generally try to hold everyone else back in case, God forbid, they actually advance further than us, and suddenly show us how wrong we were all along.

Like the whole "The earth is flat, because I bloody well say it is, and besides, my sword is bigger than yours" mentality.
If the human race truly did "evolve", as is popularly theorized, then one would obviously assume we would outgrow such useless and generally counterproductive tendencies, as penis envy. Yet here we go, hapilly ignoring the fact that we're obviously wrong, and let everyone believe that you can indeed fall off the edge of the world, simply because someone we don't like, thought of it before we did.

A parallel line of thought might be to question weather it really is men who truly have run society as top decision makers throughout the course of history. Or so it could, but let's face it, we all know the answer.
Males don't actually dominate society. Penises do. Unfortunately, we haven't yet evolved our anatomy to actively support both heads with enough blood to properly function yet, so the outcome often leaves a lot to be desired.
This also explains why some of the biggest events in history, seem to have been so poorly thought through, if indeed any thought was given to them at all.

Such wonderful ideas as "Hey! Let's invade Poland!", "Reckon it would be a laugh to trick people into believing, some old guy on a cloud is watching their every move?" and "Surely no one would mind if we just took the oil in that country? I mean, it's not like they're using it..." are all great examples of situations, where someone should have probably said "Uhm... But why?".
The thing is, men aren't evil as such. They just shouldn't be allowed to make decisions that affect other men, if women are also present.
If men are alone, the blood flow is normal and controlled... It's when females come into view of one or more males, that they become competitive, and the priority of heads change... This is generally considered a bad trait for any species that sees itself as the dominating life form on any given planet.
It also says a remarkable lot about any species that's beneath it.

Inevidably though, we choose to ignore this seemingly obvious flaw. This is one thing we've indeed become very skilled at, due to this so-called evolution thing. We seem to have fully mastered the art of ignoring anything, that might confirm that we just fucked up.
Again, a trait many would call a flaw in any dominant species. But then, I guess it really does say a lot about a species that refuses to learn from it's mistakes, yet still keeps going, despite what we throw at ourselves.

I think the real problem is not that we as a species are flawed. I think it's just natures way of balancing things out. Since we have no competition, we simply create our own obstacles. Not to make us stronger, or smarter, or so that we may learn from our mistakes and thus prosper. But simply because the alternative is sitting there, staring at the wallpaper, doing nothing...
Anyone who's ever experienced a sunday, without a girl or boy friend, will know that this is indeed all you can do on this God forsaken day.
And after experiencing a few of these lovely days, where everything is closed and none of your mates are in, you really do become rather desperate for something to do.
Breaking something, just to create some activity suddenly seems like a pretty good idea.
Now imagine a country being bored?

All this, just becuase you're single.
I guess it's an implimented survival mechanism to go get a girl/boy friend. You know, for the good of the human race, sort of thing...
Maybe we did evolve some usefull traits after all?


Cheers!
- The Bedlamite


¹ Which might go to explain why I never have any money

Lunacy is a state of mind...

So... It seem's I finally got around to this whole typing of letters thing... It's rather funny really. It goes click clickety click whenever I press the keyboard... You should definately try this typing of letters thing, if you haven't already...

So, setting aside further distractions, from lit up LED displays and fancy things around my desk, I guess I should actually write something. You know, what with my new found knowledge of keyboard typing and all.
I can't help but wonder if God intended for this to happen though, you know, the internet, and the rather degenerate lifestyle of the human race since it's discovery... This is said of course, while denying the obvious fact that I don't believe he's even there, but let's go along with that notion for a little while and see where it takes us... It's the kind of thought that bears similarity to bad raviolli in that aspect. You know you shouldn't do it. But if you do, it might just take you places you never thought you'd go... Weather or not you wanted to go there, or ever wish to visit again is up for debate, but new places none the less.

Places where gas fluctuations and diarrhea are to ones social interactions, as sexually arrousing dreams and stains on ones underwear are to people who've been single for too long. Inevidable, dominating and rather undesirable. This is of course mainly because they remind you of the somewhat comical, albiet pathetic position, you now occupy in this world we seem to share with what I'm told, is 6 billion other people.
6 billion people, who for some reason all hate each other, and throw bombs and stuff after each other, despite never having met, let alone understanding each others languages, thus preventing them from actually knowing what it is they've all gotten so worked up about in the first place...Still, I guess we all need a hobby...

It is rather funny though if you think about it. A few decades ago, we didn't even know there were any other people around to have wars with. We just killed each other, now the world has allegedly become so small, that you can meet anyone anywhere. I know I did while backpacking... I was in the outback of Australia, working in a park, a sort of natural reserve / volcanic wildlife thing, if you will... When I met some people who 10 years ago, lived on my street, back home, on the other side of the planet. Not that I knew them or, truth be told, cared much, but it does go to show:
The world has apparently become so small, that this is indeed possible to meet people who you never thought you'd meet, this being mainly because you had no idea they existed. Yet still too large to get your mail sent out on time, let alone to the right place... Sometimes I wonder where it all went wrong.

My guess, is television!
It keeps telling us how cool eveything is, and how many people are having really big parties right now. Parties that only include naked people. Actually, that's all it seems to tell us. That everyone out there is living cooler and wilder lives than us... Come to think of it, if someone was observing earth at the moment, via television, they'd probably think the entire race spent it's time either:

Getting involved in intrigues about who shagged who's sister and why the baby is black.
Living with gay people and having whacky adventures while interior decorating.
Shooting each other, or trying to persicute said gay people because they have said whacky adventures¹.

Adventures, which are normally confined to their private bedrooms, with other gay adventurers, minding their own gay business. This obviously violates society's principals of privacy² and thus defiles everything good and pure about the world, bringing our very culture in peril of destruction, as is writtin in some musty old book, by a bunch of people who thought women were demons and not to be consorted with.
This in turn led to very little sex, which then most probably led to explain their bad tempers, which again goes to explain why everyone in this book always get's burnt, chopped into tiny little bits, or even, if the mood takes them, get's nailed to pieces of wood. Usually this will happen to the likes of devious people who walk around suggesting if maybe it wouldn't be an idea to be nice to each other once in a while...
Obviously, you cannot run a society or religion, who's main principal is tolerance and understanding, on being nice... This goes without saying. People might get the wrong idea, that they could actually live their own lives, instead of obeying rules.

The only thing that doesn't make sense, is how something run by a bunch of old men, who think women are posessed by demons, can then turn around and persicute all men out there, who took it literally, and desided to ditch the whole "woman" thing all together...You'd think they'd have their blessing?... Possibly even backing³. But no, for some odd reason, this instead lead to more being chased around by people with pointy sticks, and generally more being nailed to pieces of wood.
It's funny how that all works...

Cheers!
- The Bedlamite

¹ Or as is my guess, because they seem hell bent on decorating everybody's houses, despite not being invited to do so in the first place.

² What people do at home, behind closed doors, is societies business and if society, being compromised mainly of old people, don't like it, it's wrong.

³ Pun intended… Possibly.