Modern science needs a hobby...

So I opened my inbox today... And as always, I can confirm that many people out there spend entirely too much time, concerning themselves with things they'd best not... Me namely.

It's amazing really, how so many people from south africa seem to know where I live, who I am, how much I care, yet all make the mistake of thinking I like God.
I'm not sure if it's just a culture differance or not, but I'd wager they'd do better if they didn't head all their mails with "Dear beloved in God"...
And it all concerns money. That they want to give to me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like money as much as the next person¹.
But when you're born and bread in a region of the world, where everything has a price, and most people are more than happy to tell you that because of some special occasion, mainly concerning you being where you are at this present time, said price has dropped remarkably, and that this lovely(something²) can now be yours for the exceptionally low price of(some price³).
You tend to get a pit suspecious when people actually try to give you money... Especially money made from Nazi gold, African diamond mines or rich Nigerian relatives who've passed away and left me all their belongings.
The latter in particular, as my entire family is white. I reckon we might have noticed Nigerian relatives at all the gatherings...

These however, do not concern me nearly as much as the other types of mail I recieve. It appears the entire medical staff of the world have teamed up, and now take turns to send me "great deals" for cheap viagra, penis enlargement products, and herbal medicine to improve my performance.
I've never met these people, I'm not sure I want to.
I mean, I don't really have a problem with them trying to sell me things that 600 years ago, would have been the equivallent of magic beans and pregnancy repelling bracelets. I'm not even to fussed about them all seeming to know exactly who I am, and what I need...
What i'm having trouble figuring out is, who are these people... And why are they all so obsessed about the shape and size of my penis?!

I mean, theoretically, they're doing me a favour, by informing me of my inadecuacy, and offering a solution to my apparent problem.
But what they're in fact doing, is cluttering up my inbox with little messages that all tell me that I really need to give them money because science if important, and we need to invest more of it looking into making the world a better place, one adecuately big penis at a time.

It's a lot like the bloke I saw sweeping the steps at the Metro system today...
I mean, technically, he was sweeping them.
What he was in fact doing, was moving little bits of dust around with a broom, giving them a change of scenary and a chance to meet new friends...

I wonder if he's inadecuate too...

Cheers!
- The Bedlamite


¹ Probably a bit more, if I'm honest...
² Insert item that you never knew you needed.
³ Insert a price that you would more than happily sell your child, mother or partner for, should anyone ever care to offer.